Alice Garden

A romance set at a cancer facility.

ALICE GARDEN
by
Patricia Nolan-Hall

Mrs. Alice Garden adjusted the name tag on her lavender smock. All the volunteers at the cancer centre were identified by their lavender smocks and their overtly friendly name tags. Mrs. Garden might have adapted more easily to the annoying smiley face on the badge if some dignity had been preserved by it proclaiming “Mrs. Garden” instead of only her first name. Some of the younger staff had taken to calling her “Ali.” The presumption was almost unbearable. But the color of the smock was a fortunate choice for Alice. It perfectly complimented her hair, which after the chemo five years before had grown back beautifully and gleaming silver. If left to grow, Alice’s hair would rival any of those retouched shampoo commercials on television, but she felt it would almost amount to gloating in front of the patients. So she wore her hair short, with curls her only concession to vanity.
Where was that girl with today’s schedule and where was everyone else? It was almost eight o’clock. Whatever happened to punctuality? Alice paced the cramped boardroom the hospital had designated for its volunteer corp. She paused by the full-length mirror on the back of the door. Her prosthetic brassiere gave her body a
symmetrical shape she hadn’t had before her mastectomy. No one passing her on the street no one would ever guess she was mutilated.
The door opened and Alice’s image gave way to the six foot frame of Jack McDonald, or “Jackie”, as his smiley face tag declared.
“Good morning, sunshine.”
“Good morning, Mr. McDonald.”
Jack leaned against the door laughing. His voice was a smooth, deep baritone and the laugh pleasing. Alice Garden, however, was not pleased. She did not like being laughed at.
“I’ve been thinking about things and I have a proposal,” said Jack. “If you will deign to call me Jack, I will refrain from calling you Ali. How does that sound?”
“What about the sunshine business?”
“Oh, that stays. There’s a glow inside you, Alice Garden, and your trying to hide it won’t stop me from seeing it.”
Alice couldn’t keep from blushing while she tried to think of a retort. It wasn’t right. Jack was somewhere in his sixties. He was maybe fifteen years her senior. It didn’t matter that he flirted with everyone, or maybe it did.
“Where do you suppose everyone else is this morning?” asked Alice.
“It’s November 30th, Deck-the-Halls day. They’re hauling the trees and things out of storage. Speaking of which, I picked up these novelty pins for the gang.”
Alice looked in the shoe box filled with pins shaped like wreaths, snowmen, Santa and the obligatory Rudolph with a nose that lighted up.
“Rudy is mine but you get first choice, or aren’t you a Christmas person?”
“I happen to be a well-known Christmas person, mister – Jack. In my family I’ve always been considered somewhat annoying when it comes to December festivities. I’ll take this jolly Santa. Thank you.”
Alice turned away to add the jolly Santa to her smock. She hadn’t lied. She had always been a Christmas person, until the last year. Maybe it wasn’t wrong to try to get those holiday feelings back. She owed it to her children, grown as they were and Leslie expecting her first. But how do you get back feelings that have been stolen?
“I spoke with Liz on the way in and we’re in Chemo Daycare today. The boss seems to think we are uniquely suited to help our celebrity patient adjust to his treatment.”
“Celebrity patient?” asked Alice.
“Didn’t you see the headlines? Young Hockey Star’s Brave Battle with Cancer. Medal Winner Jared Burton Stricken. Out for Season.”
“Jared Burton!”
“Are you a fan, Alice?”
“I had Jared in my grade 10 and 11 English class at St. Thomas. My late husband was his coach. Such a nice boy and such a hard worker. Oh, he’s so young.”
“They’ve set up space for him on the 7th floor, worried people will bother him for autographs and such.”
“As if people don’t have enough on their minds.”
Alice thought of the 7th floor as the Civil War stop. The blue and gray color scheme extended from the wall paint and trim to the choice of prints and artificial flowers.
Jared Burton, his blonde hair fashionably gelled and wearing an over-sized jersey, looked no older than the sincere and intense student Alice remembered.
“Mrs. Garden!” Jared’s impulsive hug was accepted awkwardly.
“Please. Alice. Jared, I’m – I’m so sorry to see you here.”
“Well, it’s not everyone’s idea of a get-away but the company is first-rate. I’m Jackie MacDonald, Mr. Burton, and pleased to meet you. I’m a big fan.”
“Thank you. Please, just call me Jared.”
“Jared, I’m going to say something that I know I’ll be hearing you say someday. Next month I’ll be six years cancer-free.”
“Say, that’s great. Let me shake your hand, sir. Maybe some of your luck will rub off on me. You and Alice must be a real inspiration to everyone here. You’ll have to excuse me. I haven’t gotten used to the idea of being a patient. Everything happened so fast. The diagnosis and all. I’m supposed to be in New York now. First long road trip of the season and all.” Jared put his hands in his jeans pockets and turned to look out the window.
“Mister…I mean, Jackie, why don’t you get us some coffee? Some of the good stuff from the place next door.”
“Right you are. I’ll be back in a flash.”
Alice sighed as she closed the door behind Jack. She was almost three years cancer-free but couldn’t bring herself to brag about the fact. It might have been three weeks for all the relief it gave her. So many people still didn’t get to say those words.
“He seems like a nice guy.”
“Mr. MacDonald? Yes. Yes, he is nice.
“How do the girls like him?”
“Oh, all the girls like Jackie. He sees to that. Nurses, patients, volunteers – they all like him.”
“No. I meant your girls.”
“My girls? They haven’t met Mr. MacDonald. Why should – oh, you think – there’s no – nothing – well, my goodness. What makes you – ?”
“I just thought you looked like a couple when you came in. He seems to like you though. After all, it’s a couple of years since Coach, uh, died, and well, people do move on.”
“Move on. I imagine some people do, but it’s not that easy. Besides, I have other things to fill my time. I’m busy here and I’m going to be a grandmother any time now.”
“Really? Wow, that’s cool. Coach would have – Alice, did you see the paper today? They called me brave. I’m not. I don’t think I am. I don’t feel special but they act like I am. Coach was the strongest man I ever knew and he – what really happened?”
“I don’t know what to tell you, Jared. I guess it starts with me. I’m afraid it starts with me. We had a rough time. You see, I always thought of it as our cancer, our fight. I was scared, just like you are now. All of us are scared but something keeps us going no matter how rough it gets, and boy did it get rough. Maybe that’s the thing people call courage. Well, I was pretty proud of us. We’d beaten this thing. When Les was diagnosed it was a blow but, well, I thought we’ve been here before and we’ll beat it again.”
“But Coach couldn’t face another battle.”
“He was tired, worn out. Maybe if he wasn’t tired he could have found the courage. I don’t – I still don’t understand. He was the one thing that kept me fighting, Les and the girls. Why couldn’t I be that one thing for him? It’s not as if he even gave up. He never even tried. Why? Why didn’t he think he could face the fight?”
Alice accepted the tissue box from Jared.
“You’re a bad influence on me, young man.”
“Not so bad, I think,” Jared replied.
“I try so hard not to think about it, but I guess it’s all I ever do think about. I’m still angry with Les for not finding his courage, or maybe he did – I don’t know. I’m even angrier at myself for holding onto my hurt.”
“Angry? I think I know what you mean. I’m angry at being sick.”
“Use it, Jared. Get angry and get fighting.”
“Maybe though, after a while anger will – well, maybe it won’t be so helpful.”
“Maybe you’re right, young man. Oh, I know you are right. It doing me no good to hang unto the anger. It’s just not so easy to get rid of.
“Home is the hero” Jackie announced.
“An empty-handed hero” Alice retorted as she slipped the tissue in the wastebasket.
“Our coffee will be here directly and personally delivered by the cutie with the freckles”, replied Jackie with a sink. “She’s dying to meet our young phenom.”
“Doesn’t that rather negate the whole privacy issue?”
“I don’t think so,” said Jackie.
“Well, wouldn’t you agree this is not the proper time to start playing matchmaker?”
“No, I wouldn’t say that, either.”
“Alice might be right, mister – I mean, Jackie.”
“Now, surely a young fellow like yourself isn’t afraid of meeting a little girl with freckles” Jackie laughed. “I’m not setting you up for marriage or anything like that; I just thought maybe you could help me out.”
“Help? How?”
“Well, you see there’s a Christmas Dance for volunteers coming up and I’ve been kind of shy about getting a date.”
“Jackie MacDonald, shy, that’s a good one.” Alice tried focusing on the flower arrangement, hoping her blush wasn’t too noticeable. She was thinking about a green dress she’d seen in a boutique window, and the fun she missed having at Christmas.
“What can I do, Jackie?” Jared placed one hand on the older man’s shoulder and the other hand around Alice.
“We volunteers can bring guests to the party and I think the lady in question might not object to a double-date. My idea is, you take the cutie from the shop, and this lovely lady here might give me a tumble. I think it’s worth a try. After all, faint heart ne’er won fair lady.”
A knock on the door announced the arrival of the special delivery.
“Well,” said Jared as he gave Alice a little hug, “no faint hearts around here. I’ll get the door.”